Weblog Entry - 09/07/2002: ""

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09/07/2002 Entry: ""

I so suck at responding to blog comments, even more than I do at responding to e-mail. Yea, my suckitude is Hooveresque, but I do truly appreciate the kindness of those who comment here. You all are the greatest.

I ought not to have done my wistful little turn here on adieu to summer, because this weekend summer came back with a whomp, and with the 98 degree heat index, and I am wretched. It shall pass soon, and I shall refrain from lapsing into tedious bitchery about it. But it leaves me enervated and decorticate, and also sticking to the furniture. I swill gin rickeys and loll in front of the fan and watch endless hours of forensics/true-crime crap on Court TV and A&E.

Two Deep Thoughts that have come to me over the past week, and that I'd like to tack down here so I can revisit them at times:

--The stories or scenes I've written that I'm most deeply dissatisfied with, from as objective a craftsman's angle as I can manage, are almost invariably those where I was most conscious of audience, trying to write to please others.

--Simply shoving ahead and doing a thing, no matter how distasteful that thing may seem, is always, in the end, less painful than dithering around on the margins apprehensively contemplating it. Nothing would improve my life more than gaining a solid, once-and-for-all grip on that fact.

Off to seek out air conditioning. Shall return at some point when it goes below 90.

Replies: 8 comments

Oh so it's YOUR fault summer's back. Dammnit, Kat!

Actually no, my father and I had been saying privately that summer seemed over, so I guess we're to blame down here anyway. Stay cool, don't let it get to you. It will end.

Posted by dargie @ 09/08/2002 02:51 PM CST

You know, that forging ahead thing? I agree wholeheartedly, and yet I cannot seem to manage to do it.

I dither and I moan and I whine and wring my hands for days before I do something that inevitably turns out to be far less onerous than I believed it would be before I started.

Why is that? Why can't we just accept that the anticipation usually *is* worse than the "pain"?

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