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Wednesday, February 6, 2002

I dreamed the other night that I had a big wad of tangled matted hair right at the nape of my neck, about the size of a slightly squashed tennis ball. I kept trying to comb it out, a little bit at a time, but no matter what I did, it stayed all snarled up, until I was ready to cry with frustration. Then, later, I dreamed that I put my hands to my head, and my hair was all cut off short, shorn crewcut-length, gone, and I was filled with joy and relief.

Have at it, armchair Freuds ::g::.

Last night's Buffy was an odd one indeed. Like Anna, I found it had some feel of fanfic for me--the kind of fanfic I like, the stories that say, "Well, let's just play out some of the grittier likely consequences of what the show's set up." Some of it was indeed very dark and disturbing, but as in the best dark fiction, I felt the pain had been earned, at least for the most part. [spoiler] The main plotty bit involving Buffy's guilt over thinking she'd killed Katrina didn't really work for me; it felt contrived, and having watched this right after seeing Bad Girls/Consequences left me wondering why they didn't make even a minor loop back to those episodes. (Yeah, right, don't confuse the new viewers, I know.) And of course I was left spluttering with disbelief that Spike, with all his ready access to mausoleums, cemeteries, sewer systems, etc., wouldn't have come up with a more effective way of disposing of the body. That whole part felt contrived.[/spoiler]

As often before in the current season, I'm struck by the well-nigh total absence of adults, or of any stable grown-up-like social structures. What we see over and over again, since Giles's departure, is a bunch of kids--Buffy, the Scoobies, even the Legion of Dim--ungrounded, unguided, fast-forwarding into adulthood, making major life decisions that range from the questionable to the spectacularly bad. And all they have to rely on is each other; the "adult" world only manifests itself sporadically, in the form of social workers or awful jobs, as a kind of oppressive alien unreality. Does Willow still go to college? Do we see any evidence of that besides one highlighted book? Is there any plausible future toward which any of them seem to be moving? (Well, except for the Xander-Anya marriage, which no one but Anya seems to feel the slightest enthusiasm for.)

Tara felt far more like a grown-up in this episode than anyone has since Giles left. And man, I felt for her in that final scene, pushed into Mother Confessor role, desperately trying to find the right things to say. I like this new Tara, and I'm hoping that she and Buffy can continue to forge a connection; I think Tara would have some things to teach her. I mean, in a very different way she's had that experience of being as-good-as-dead -- mindwiped, rendered imbecile -- and coming back again. And she's done the straightening-spine and walking-away-from-destructive-relationship thing. I hope she sticks around. Though it's a lot to put on her, they need at least one adult in this world.

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